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"There are risks with any surgery:

1.  You might need blood. If you want to, you can go and donate a quart or two of your own blood and we'll use that up first, but, if we run out of your blood, we might need to use someone else's blood, and hopefully it's from someone who you don't owe money to.

2. I might hurt you. I will be using a power saw, a router, a reamer, a vacuum suction thing, an electric cauterizing gun and many sharp knives. Don't worry. I earned a power tool certificate from Black & Decker and got an "A" in Power Tools 101 in Med. School.

3. It is likely that you will be very sore when we are done, which is why I won't come to see you again until you are heavily sedated and strapped to a hospital bed and can't hurt me back."